An Incident In The Village
On Friday 18th May an incident occurred of a very
serious nature in the village, in fact, in our garden. The acts of
skulduggery, deception and brazen theft witnessed had not been seen this side
of Ryhall Heath in centuries. As I watched the events unfold I was
horrified but was fortunate enough to capture the perpetrator of the crimes on
camera.
I will let you, the reader, be the judge in this
case but I warn you, this thief needs to be caught and a stop put to his (and I
suspect his female accomplice') vile misdemeanour's. We cannot let this
type of wanton theft and disregard of another's nest go unpunished in Rutland.
The Scene of The Crime
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At approximately 11.00.a.m. on the morning in
question, I was calmly and quietly supping on a cup of coffee and munching on a
dark chocolate coated, butter biscuit (89p a packet from Lidl and excellent
value for money I have to say) when I spotted a commotion in the skies above
me. Two pairs of House Martins were in a right flap as they attempted to
gain access to their recently renovated holiday home under our eaves. As you
will see from the picture above, one of the dwellings has a small decking
extension to the side, we will not go into the in's and out's of whether
planning permission was sought from RCC for this extension as this is by the by
in relation to the heinous crime that was about to unfold before my eyes.
Mr and Mrs House Martin have young eggs secreted in the depths of their
new home and were, justifiably, outraged when a local blaggard decided to enjoy
the benefits of their decking extension. This intrusion was uninvited and
totally unwarranted. Evidence from the photograph below clearly proves
that this interloper was 'eyeing' up the contents of Mr and Mrs Martin's
house.
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| Is this the Peeping Tom previous reports has suggested was eyeing up local nests? |
Much commotion ensued. Mr Martin was
apoplectic with rage and Mrs Martin shrieked with fear for her young
eggs. Much flapping and shouting was witnessed. In an attempt to
stop this blatant interference Mr and Mrs Martin attempted a fly by swooping
calling for assistance from their House Martin neighbours but no amount of
tweeting and flapping was going to force this criminal to move. As the
scene unfolded it was clear to see that Mr Sparrow had an accomplice in the
form of a ganster's Moll, her innocent demeanour whilst hanging off a local
bird feeder did nothing to fool me!
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| Do not be fooled by this innocent female hanging around |
This brazen hussy was clearly seen chirping words
of encouragement to her chav boyfriend with a complete disregard for the
distress and panic their actions were causing Mr and Mrs House
Martin. Mr and Mrs House Martin retreated to nearby airspace to
re-group and receive counselling from the flying squad. I was not the
only one to witness this outrageous take over bid and am utterly appalled that
the bystanders did nothing to intervene during this debacle. What are
countryside gardens coming to?
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| How could you sit by and watch? (try going on a diet matey, no one fancies a lardy) |
Now I know we have a policy of innocent until
proven guilty in our British countryside gardens but I captured irrefutable
evidence of this wanton theft on camera and would suggest that anyone living in
Pickworth give this dodgy character a wide birth and contact the local RSPB
Officer at the earliest opportunity to dob him in. I do not suggest
anyone take the law into their own hands as we do not want to develop a vigilante
state in this small corner of Rutland BUT action must be taken as the picture
below clearly shows Jack Sparrow in the act of stealing. Yes stealing!
This is a blatant attempt by Jack Sparrow to feather his own nest. We,
the garden owners of Rutland, simply cannot sit by and allow this anarchy to
spread through our gardens.
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| Caught on CCTV (well my camera) the perpetrater in action |
Do not be fooled Jack Sparrow we have your card
marked, your Highway Man's mask does not fool us. We will not stand (or
sit) idly by and allow you to cause untold emotional damage to unhatched eggs
and the poor, innocent parents of these eggs.
Mr and Mrs House Martin did eventually secure their
nest later in the afternoon but at what cost people of Rutland? We can
see from the picture below that Mrs House Martin is showing definite signs of
separation anxiety, insisting that Mr House Martin does not leave her
unattended on the nest. The consequences of Jack Sparrow and his floozy’s
attempts to break up this happy home will not go unpunished. I call upon
all residents of Pickworth to remove all bird feeders until such time as the
Sparrows are punished.
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| Mrs HM clearly distressed as Mr HM looks over his shoulder |
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| Peace is restored but for how long? |
